*Edited July 9, 2015*
*Edited August 3, 2015*
"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6-7).
This passage is difficult for many Christians to understand because St. Peter is describing a people who are simultaneously rejoicing in Christ's name while being distressed. One who does not understand Scripture will immediately, or eventually, conclude that this is contradictory. We call this example (and the Christian life overall) paradoxical, but it is not contradictory. There exists a superficial view of Christianity that claims that when a person converts to the faith, all the problems he or she had will disappear forever and that they will be happy all the time with a zero percent chance of facing anything troubling or upsetting. Not only does that sound too good to be true, but it also sounds like an incredibly boring life. Or that when they do face a trouble, they can easily conquer it. No, that is a new age do-good religion; that is not New Testament Christianity. Such people cannot accept this teaching by Peter and thus believe that if any Christian is in this state of "heaviness," distress, or unhappiness, that it is doubtful whether they're Christian at all. And heretics such as Joel Osteen who preach that God wants all of us to be happy do not help at all. These false beliefs are not New Testament Christianity. These are the kinds of thoughts that cults have always offered and also what some modern psychology offers, and unfortunately we can add charismatic Christianity to that list (e.g. the teachings of Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer). One thing we can be very grateful for is the blunt honesty of the Scriptures; they give us the simple truths about ourselves and about our life in this world. This is exactly why the world hates Christians because whom we live for — Jesus Christ — testifies against the sins of the world and its evil (John 7:7). In this two-part blog series I will be discussing the necessity of facing trials and why they are necessary. Also, in this study of theodicy, the reason for bad things happening to us is only applied to people who are Christians, not those whose identity lies outside of Christ and upon the things of the world. So keep that in mind as you're reading this.
Heaviness
Let's start by examining what Peter means by this "heaviness." It means to be in grief — that we are troubled. Christian teachers usually take this passage and teach that it means we have to suffer certain things because of the sinful condition of the world we live in. That is very true, but it also means that the suffering of these things cause us grief. Like I said, this paradox given by Peter is hard to fathom for some Christians, but as Christians it is definitely true that we live paradoxical lives. A perfect example is a list of paradoxes that St. Paul uses to describe the Christian lifestyle: "We are troubled on every side yet not distressed; we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; cast down but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). The paradoxical condition of the Christian lifestyle is what makes it so amazing — that we can simultaneously experience a downcast spirit in multiple ways but also be comforted by and rely on the faithfulness of the Holy Spirit. For, "if we are faithless, He remains faithful — for He cannot deny Himself" (2 Timothy 2:13). In a sermon, Reverend John Rathje of the LCMS once said, "God's promises are based on His faithfulness, not ours." One may say, "If that's so, then what's the problem?" The problem is when we fail to maintain the balance and we allow this heaviness, grief, persecution, and distress to overwhelm us and cause us to be in a perpetual state of misery. Paul is not saying that we don't experience these things and he's not saying we ought to deny those feelings. We acknowledge those feelings, but we hold on to Christ in spite of those feelings. He's saying that although we become troubled, Christ can prevent us from being distressed. Although we become perplexed, Christ does not let us fall into despair. Although we are persecuted by the world, Christ never forsakes us. Although we are cast down by our enemies, Christ catches us and prevents us from being destroyed. Whom or what else can do this for us? Nothing! The danger is not that we become temporarily upset by any of these things, but that it becomes a perpetual trouble that we cannot get ourselves out of and that as a result, people scrutinising Christianity will become more conscious of this grieving heaviness than they are of our great rejoicing in Jesus Christ.
We have to remind ourselves that Christians are not immune to the events happening around them. Christians are still subject to grief and sorrow. When we go through the Scriptures, there is nothing more encouraging and instructive than observing that the servants of God have been and always will be subject to human frailties. We see it a lot in the life of St. Paul, perhaps more than anyone else. Or just read the book of Job. One of the things that I highly admire about Paul is that he never conceals the troubles he faced or the guilt in his sins. The glory of the Christian life is that through Jesus Christ, you have the ability to rise above all these negative emotions you experience through trials even though you feel them. The Christian lifestyle is not an absence of feeling. The reason why Christians find themselves in "heaviness" and thus the conditions of grief and despair is because of these "manifold temptations." Other translations says "various trials," which means the same thing. Manifold means "many coloured." In this letter that Peter wrote to his audience (read verse one for whom they were), they were all experiencing these manifold trials. These trials come in different ways and various colours, shapes, and forms; there is no end to the variety. Many of these Christians were being persecuted, even worse than we currently are in America. A lot worse. In 1 Peter 2:11-12 we read: "I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation." Because the Christian is what he or she is, we are subject to this torment presented from the world. Because you are a new man or woman — because you are born again, you are inevitably bound to be misunderstood. You are a pilgrim — a stranger in a strange land.
Paul writes to Timothy: "In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Timothy 3:12). According to the New Testament Scriptures, it is practically a law that the deeper our relationship with Christ develops, the more likely we are to face troubles in this world. Why? Examine His character. He did no evil and there was no guile found on His mouth. He spent His time healing people, performing other miracles, preaching to the lame and the poor, and socialising with ragamuffins; yet look at the opposition and trials He had to face and endure. Why? Because of whom He was. The world hates Christ and it therefore hates Christians because such holy living condemns it (again, John 7:7). Peter explains this a little further by writing: "For there has already been enough time spent in doing the will of the pagans: carrying on in unrestrained behaviour, evil desires, drunkenness, orgies, carousing, and lawless idolatry. In regard to this, they are surprised that you don't plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation — and they slander you" (1 Peter 4:3-4).
Why Do We Suffer?
Moving on, let's identify what St. Peter means by "manifold trials." What sort of experiences would classify them as such? It can be anything in this life that tends to trouble you or haunt you, something that hurts you at the most sensitive and delicate core of your soul, heart, and mind — things that tend to make you miserable. How do we get past these things? Well, prayer is one way, but let's examine Peter's instruction, and that is to gain a little understanding of why these things happen to us. The danger is to just allow these things to happen to us and endure them with groans and whines and complaints and not do anything to discover why these things are happening to us. Or, we come into the danger of thinking, "Why is God doing this to me?" However, most of the time it's not to discover "why" these things happen to us, but rather what. Instead of thinking, "Why me," think instead: "What can I learn from this? What does God want to teach me?" And then how: "How will this make me grow closer to God?" In short, other than the sinful condition of the world we live in, that is why we suffer — to learn something from God and to grow closer to Him, and then the why may come later as God works out His progressive revelation in your life. That's the short answer, but now let's discuss the long answer.
Examining a section of the first letter from Peter again, he writes, "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be..." If need be. What does he mean by that? In effect, what he means is, "If it is necessary." As I said earlier, this statement by Peter is not a general one that in the sinful condition of the world we live in, these things must happen. Again, it is true, but Peter does not merely leave it at that because it's not that generic. In essence, he is saying, "You are enduring this grief at the moment because it has proven necessary by God's will that you ought to experience it." Trials don't just take place because of the whole organisation of the sinful world we live in. It plays a role, but it's not the sole reason. Peter is saying that these things happen because they're good for us — they are part of our discipline in this life and this world because God has appointed it. Rather than moping around and complaining in our distresses, we can use them as an opportunity to draw close to God and rely on His good mercy. In this way, trials always serve as a good reminder that God is our Sustainer. From the examples in Scriptures and even our own lives, we know that God always responds when we call out in trouble. Nothing illustrates this more than the psalms.
This is how we must view the Christian lifestyle: We are living in this world and walking on our paths under the eye of our Heavenly Father. You must say to yourself, "There is a very definite plan and purpose for my entire life. God has examined me and has adopted me into His family." Why does He do this for us? So that He may bring us into perfection (which is not acquired in this earthly life). That is His objective — that you may "be conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:29), as Jesus Christ will say, "Here I am with the children God gave Me" (Hebrews 2:13). If we do not believe and recognise this fundamental conception of ourselves as Christians, then we are bound to go astray and misunderstand these things as God's children as they happen to us.
There are two possible reasons for God to cause a trial to happen to us. God permits these things to happen to us, but not for the purpose of making us suffer and watching us squirm, as we like to think. God may at times order these things to happen to us for our own good. First, He may do it in order to chastise us, which He enacts due to our complacency and for our failure. In 2 Peter 1:5-7, the apostle writes that Christians are to discipline themselves and to supplement attributes to their faith, not merely to be content with minimal faith but for it to be forever increasing. There are Christians who do not take heed of this exhortation and instead are indefatigable with their complacency and indolence. As I understand New Testament doctrine, if we do that we should not be surprised if we start to experience troubles — that God perhaps begins to chastise us by shaking us off of our shiftless butts. Hebrews 12:6 says, "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth." God does not chastise those who are outside the faith. He may punish the wicked, but He does not chastise them. He chastises His children, but He does not punish them. Chastisement and punishment are not the same thing. The dictionary defines "chastise" as to "rebuke or reprimand severely." So, in chastising us, God is simply correcting a wrongful behaviour of ours. Punishment, however, is an infliction that someone causes upon you in order to pay for an offence you made. God doesn't work like that towards His children, only to the wicked. As God's children, He may choose to chastise us for our own good, much like your own earthly father chastising you for your failures and indolence versus other kids' wrongful behaviour. Those kids don't belong to him because they're in a different family, and such is the same as those outside the faith — they aren't God's children because they belong to the family of Satan. First John 3:9-10 says, "Everyone who has been born of God does not sin, because His seed remains in him; he is not able to sin, because he has been born of God. This is how God's children — and the Devil's children — are made evident." Now, it is very easy to misinterpret and misunderstand this passage. It's not saying that God's children are incapable of sinning. This is a great example when people don't read the context around the verse. Before this, we are told that as children of God, we are able to receive forgiveness through Jesus' death (1 John 1:7) as we confess our sins (1:9). Christians are "born of God" by the work of His Word, and this makes us able to do "what is right" (3:7). Basically, because we are children of God, His Spirit gives us the power to choose holiness over sin. The Devil's children do not get this luxury because they don't know the difference, and/or they have it confused, or they just don't care. John is not speaking of sinless perfection but of a life imputed with Christ's righteousness. Anyway, I'm not saying that God's chastisement is inevitable to every Christian and that it's always the case when we face troubles; I'm just saying it's a possibility.
Secondly, God may permit troubles to happen to us in order to prepare us for something. When God has a particularly great task set for a man or woman to perform, He usually tests them. So, one may have to pass through a certain trial because of some great task ahead that God has planned for them. Think of any biblical character that had to endure such a trial — Abraham, Job, Jonah, St. Paul, pretty much every person of faith that we read of in the Scriptures. Read the list of Paul's sufferings in 2 Corinthians 11 and 12 to go through some of his "manifold trials," then come back here... So, one may have to pass through a certain trial because of some great task ahead that God has planned for them. At times God will, in His tenderness and mercy, send lesser trials in order to prepare us for something great. "If need be" — if it is necessary — if God, in looking upon us as our Father, sees that we need to face a certain trial for our own good, He will do so.
In September of 2014, I was under a spiritual attack, unbeknownst to me. I was beginning to question my direction and call to be a pastor that I was once so certain of for a very long time, and such an occasion is very indicative of a spiritual attack, but I was unaware of that at the time. I was really doubting my competent ability to being a good, effective pastor. Come December, after finals for college, I decided to leave the pre-seminary programme I was in. I told myself that it was because I don't have the right personality to be a pastor (I'm extremely introverted). That was a lie. It was a lie I created and forced myself to believe. Honestly, my personality is only a very small portion of that decision; it's an insecurity I've suffered with my entire life. During my doubts, I was aware of other fears I had — my fear of failing my congregation and God Himself by exercising poor management skills in managing people (the congregation) and the church's finances. Those fears are the real reasons that underpropped my decision to leave the pre-seminary. I recognised those fears, but for some reason I didn't connect those fears to being the real reason for my uncertainty. SO, the new career path I took was Business Management and Accounting (although now my minor is Human Resources Management because of my passion for helping people). After many signs God gave me that He's still leading me towards ministry, I came to the liberating realisation that God was using my fears to put me in (seemingly) another direction that inevitably caused me to become confident in the things I feared: business and financial management. My change to HR Management is a continuous reminder for my passion in helping people. I can't help but laugh at the fact that I had changed my major and minor to my biggest two insecurities in being a pastor. So, currently (as of April 2015), I am finishing my business degree and will continue on to the LCMS seminary. This is a great example of God allowing a trial to happen in order to further prepare me for the great task(s) He has set ahead for me. God knows what's best for us and what we need to experience in order to get us where He wants us to be. As our Heavenly Father, He may see the need for trials and prescribe the necessary trial that is destined to make us grow in Him for our own good.
To Be Continued...
*Edited August 3, 2015*
"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6-7).
This passage is difficult for many Christians to understand because St. Peter is describing a people who are simultaneously rejoicing in Christ's name while being distressed. One who does not understand Scripture will immediately, or eventually, conclude that this is contradictory. We call this example (and the Christian life overall) paradoxical, but it is not contradictory. There exists a superficial view of Christianity that claims that when a person converts to the faith, all the problems he or she had will disappear forever and that they will be happy all the time with a zero percent chance of facing anything troubling or upsetting. Not only does that sound too good to be true, but it also sounds like an incredibly boring life. Or that when they do face a trouble, they can easily conquer it. No, that is a new age do-good religion; that is not New Testament Christianity. Such people cannot accept this teaching by Peter and thus believe that if any Christian is in this state of "heaviness," distress, or unhappiness, that it is doubtful whether they're Christian at all. And heretics such as Joel Osteen who preach that God wants all of us to be happy do not help at all. These false beliefs are not New Testament Christianity. These are the kinds of thoughts that cults have always offered and also what some modern psychology offers, and unfortunately we can add charismatic Christianity to that list (e.g. the teachings of Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer). One thing we can be very grateful for is the blunt honesty of the Scriptures; they give us the simple truths about ourselves and about our life in this world. This is exactly why the world hates Christians because whom we live for — Jesus Christ — testifies against the sins of the world and its evil (John 7:7). In this two-part blog series I will be discussing the necessity of facing trials and why they are necessary. Also, in this study of theodicy, the reason for bad things happening to us is only applied to people who are Christians, not those whose identity lies outside of Christ and upon the things of the world. So keep that in mind as you're reading this.
Heaviness
Let's start by examining what Peter means by this "heaviness." It means to be in grief — that we are troubled. Christian teachers usually take this passage and teach that it means we have to suffer certain things because of the sinful condition of the world we live in. That is very true, but it also means that the suffering of these things cause us grief. Like I said, this paradox given by Peter is hard to fathom for some Christians, but as Christians it is definitely true that we live paradoxical lives. A perfect example is a list of paradoxes that St. Paul uses to describe the Christian lifestyle: "We are troubled on every side yet not distressed; we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; cast down but not destroyed; always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus" (2 Corinthians 4:8-10). The paradoxical condition of the Christian lifestyle is what makes it so amazing — that we can simultaneously experience a downcast spirit in multiple ways but also be comforted by and rely on the faithfulness of the Holy Spirit. For, "if we are faithless, He remains faithful — for He cannot deny Himself" (2 Timothy 2:13). In a sermon, Reverend John Rathje of the LCMS once said, "God's promises are based on His faithfulness, not ours." One may say, "If that's so, then what's the problem?" The problem is when we fail to maintain the balance and we allow this heaviness, grief, persecution, and distress to overwhelm us and cause us to be in a perpetual state of misery. Paul is not saying that we don't experience these things and he's not saying we ought to deny those feelings. We acknowledge those feelings, but we hold on to Christ in spite of those feelings. He's saying that although we become troubled, Christ can prevent us from being distressed. Although we become perplexed, Christ does not let us fall into despair. Although we are persecuted by the world, Christ never forsakes us. Although we are cast down by our enemies, Christ catches us and prevents us from being destroyed. Whom or what else can do this for us? Nothing! The danger is not that we become temporarily upset by any of these things, but that it becomes a perpetual trouble that we cannot get ourselves out of and that as a result, people scrutinising Christianity will become more conscious of this grieving heaviness than they are of our great rejoicing in Jesus Christ.
We have to remind ourselves that Christians are not immune to the events happening around them. Christians are still subject to grief and sorrow. When we go through the Scriptures, there is nothing more encouraging and instructive than observing that the servants of God have been and always will be subject to human frailties. We see it a lot in the life of St. Paul, perhaps more than anyone else. Or just read the book of Job. One of the things that I highly admire about Paul is that he never conceals the troubles he faced or the guilt in his sins. The glory of the Christian life is that through Jesus Christ, you have the ability to rise above all these negative emotions you experience through trials even though you feel them. The Christian lifestyle is not an absence of feeling. The reason why Christians find themselves in "heaviness" and thus the conditions of grief and despair is because of these "manifold temptations." Other translations says "various trials," which means the same thing. Manifold means "many coloured." In this letter that Peter wrote to his audience (read verse one for whom they were), they were all experiencing these manifold trials. These trials come in different ways and various colours, shapes, and forms; there is no end to the variety. Many of these Christians were being persecuted, even worse than we currently are in America. A lot worse. In 1 Peter 2:11-12 we read: "I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation." Because the Christian is what he or she is, we are subject to this torment presented from the world. Because you are a new man or woman — because you are born again, you are inevitably bound to be misunderstood. You are a pilgrim — a stranger in a strange land.
Paul writes to Timothy: "In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted" (2 Timothy 3:12). According to the New Testament Scriptures, it is practically a law that the deeper our relationship with Christ develops, the more likely we are to face troubles in this world. Why? Examine His character. He did no evil and there was no guile found on His mouth. He spent His time healing people, performing other miracles, preaching to the lame and the poor, and socialising with ragamuffins; yet look at the opposition and trials He had to face and endure. Why? Because of whom He was. The world hates Christ and it therefore hates Christians because such holy living condemns it (again, John 7:7). Peter explains this a little further by writing: "For there has already been enough time spent in doing the will of the pagans: carrying on in unrestrained behaviour, evil desires, drunkenness, orgies, carousing, and lawless idolatry. In regard to this, they are surprised that you don't plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation — and they slander you" (1 Peter 4:3-4).
Why Do We Suffer?
Moving on, let's identify what St. Peter means by "manifold trials." What sort of experiences would classify them as such? It can be anything in this life that tends to trouble you or haunt you, something that hurts you at the most sensitive and delicate core of your soul, heart, and mind — things that tend to make you miserable. How do we get past these things? Well, prayer is one way, but let's examine Peter's instruction, and that is to gain a little understanding of why these things happen to us. The danger is to just allow these things to happen to us and endure them with groans and whines and complaints and not do anything to discover why these things are happening to us. Or, we come into the danger of thinking, "Why is God doing this to me?" However, most of the time it's not to discover "why" these things happen to us, but rather what. Instead of thinking, "Why me," think instead: "What can I learn from this? What does God want to teach me?" And then how: "How will this make me grow closer to God?" In short, other than the sinful condition of the world we live in, that is why we suffer — to learn something from God and to grow closer to Him, and then the why may come later as God works out His progressive revelation in your life. That's the short answer, but now let's discuss the long answer.
Examining a section of the first letter from Peter again, he writes, "Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be..." If need be. What does he mean by that? In effect, what he means is, "If it is necessary." As I said earlier, this statement by Peter is not a general one that in the sinful condition of the world we live in, these things must happen. Again, it is true, but Peter does not merely leave it at that because it's not that generic. In essence, he is saying, "You are enduring this grief at the moment because it has proven necessary by God's will that you ought to experience it." Trials don't just take place because of the whole organisation of the sinful world we live in. It plays a role, but it's not the sole reason. Peter is saying that these things happen because they're good for us — they are part of our discipline in this life and this world because God has appointed it. Rather than moping around and complaining in our distresses, we can use them as an opportunity to draw close to God and rely on His good mercy. In this way, trials always serve as a good reminder that God is our Sustainer. From the examples in Scriptures and even our own lives, we know that God always responds when we call out in trouble. Nothing illustrates this more than the psalms.
This is how we must view the Christian lifestyle: We are living in this world and walking on our paths under the eye of our Heavenly Father. You must say to yourself, "There is a very definite plan and purpose for my entire life. God has examined me and has adopted me into His family." Why does He do this for us? So that He may bring us into perfection (which is not acquired in this earthly life). That is His objective — that you may "be conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:29), as Jesus Christ will say, "Here I am with the children God gave Me" (Hebrews 2:13). If we do not believe and recognise this fundamental conception of ourselves as Christians, then we are bound to go astray and misunderstand these things as God's children as they happen to us.
There are two possible reasons for God to cause a trial to happen to us. God permits these things to happen to us, but not for the purpose of making us suffer and watching us squirm, as we like to think. God may at times order these things to happen to us for our own good. First, He may do it in order to chastise us, which He enacts due to our complacency and for our failure. In 2 Peter 1:5-7, the apostle writes that Christians are to discipline themselves and to supplement attributes to their faith, not merely to be content with minimal faith but for it to be forever increasing. There are Christians who do not take heed of this exhortation and instead are indefatigable with their complacency and indolence. As I understand New Testament doctrine, if we do that we should not be surprised if we start to experience troubles — that God perhaps begins to chastise us by shaking us off of our shiftless butts. Hebrews 12:6 says, "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth." God does not chastise those who are outside the faith. He may punish the wicked, but He does not chastise them. He chastises His children, but He does not punish them. Chastisement and punishment are not the same thing. The dictionary defines "chastise" as to "rebuke or reprimand severely." So, in chastising us, God is simply correcting a wrongful behaviour of ours. Punishment, however, is an infliction that someone causes upon you in order to pay for an offence you made. God doesn't work like that towards His children, only to the wicked. As God's children, He may choose to chastise us for our own good, much like your own earthly father chastising you for your failures and indolence versus other kids' wrongful behaviour. Those kids don't belong to him because they're in a different family, and such is the same as those outside the faith — they aren't God's children because they belong to the family of Satan. First John 3:9-10 says, "Everyone who has been born of God does not sin, because His seed remains in him; he is not able to sin, because he has been born of God. This is how God's children — and the Devil's children — are made evident." Now, it is very easy to misinterpret and misunderstand this passage. It's not saying that God's children are incapable of sinning. This is a great example when people don't read the context around the verse. Before this, we are told that as children of God, we are able to receive forgiveness through Jesus' death (1 John 1:7) as we confess our sins (1:9). Christians are "born of God" by the work of His Word, and this makes us able to do "what is right" (3:7). Basically, because we are children of God, His Spirit gives us the power to choose holiness over sin. The Devil's children do not get this luxury because they don't know the difference, and/or they have it confused, or they just don't care. John is not speaking of sinless perfection but of a life imputed with Christ's righteousness. Anyway, I'm not saying that God's chastisement is inevitable to every Christian and that it's always the case when we face troubles; I'm just saying it's a possibility.
Secondly, God may permit troubles to happen to us in order to prepare us for something. When God has a particularly great task set for a man or woman to perform, He usually tests them. So, one may have to pass through a certain trial because of some great task ahead that God has planned for them. Think of any biblical character that had to endure such a trial — Abraham, Job, Jonah, St. Paul, pretty much every person of faith that we read of in the Scriptures. Read the list of Paul's sufferings in 2 Corinthians 11 and 12 to go through some of his "manifold trials," then come back here... So, one may have to pass through a certain trial because of some great task ahead that God has planned for them. At times God will, in His tenderness and mercy, send lesser trials in order to prepare us for something great. "If need be" — if it is necessary — if God, in looking upon us as our Father, sees that we need to face a certain trial for our own good, He will do so.
In September of 2014, I was under a spiritual attack, unbeknownst to me. I was beginning to question my direction and call to be a pastor that I was once so certain of for a very long time, and such an occasion is very indicative of a spiritual attack, but I was unaware of that at the time. I was really doubting my competent ability to being a good, effective pastor. Come December, after finals for college, I decided to leave the pre-seminary programme I was in. I told myself that it was because I don't have the right personality to be a pastor (I'm extremely introverted). That was a lie. It was a lie I created and forced myself to believe. Honestly, my personality is only a very small portion of that decision; it's an insecurity I've suffered with my entire life. During my doubts, I was aware of other fears I had — my fear of failing my congregation and God Himself by exercising poor management skills in managing people (the congregation) and the church's finances. Those fears are the real reasons that underpropped my decision to leave the pre-seminary. I recognised those fears, but for some reason I didn't connect those fears to being the real reason for my uncertainty. SO, the new career path I took was Business Management and Accounting (although now my minor is Human Resources Management because of my passion for helping people). After many signs God gave me that He's still leading me towards ministry, I came to the liberating realisation that God was using my fears to put me in (seemingly) another direction that inevitably caused me to become confident in the things I feared: business and financial management. My change to HR Management is a continuous reminder for my passion in helping people. I can't help but laugh at the fact that I had changed my major and minor to my biggest two insecurities in being a pastor. So, currently (as of April 2015), I am finishing my business degree and will continue on to the LCMS seminary. This is a great example of God allowing a trial to happen in order to further prepare me for the great task(s) He has set ahead for me. God knows what's best for us and what we need to experience in order to get us where He wants us to be. As our Heavenly Father, He may see the need for trials and prescribe the necessary trial that is destined to make us grow in Him for our own good.
To Be Continued...
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